Matt Leet’s Top 10 reasons why a sweater is better than a space heater
10. Sweaters come in different colors, are easy to accessorize and are washable. Space heaters come in one color. Also, please do not wash your space heater.
9. A sweater can carry the enchanting scent of those who wear them. Space heaters can carry the embarrassing scent of a cat trapped under your exhaust pipe.
8. Sweaters are often made with LOVE. Space heaters are often made with unpronounceable chemicals.
7. A sweater can be handed down to children or even grandchildren. Spaces heaters can be handed down to the curb after a yard sale.
6. Sweaters are warm and cozy. Spaces heaters eat electrons and excrete BTUs.
5. Mr. Rogers wore a cardiagan sweater when he visited the neighborhood. A space heater burned down the neighborhood after it got tipped over and set a sofa on fire.
4. You can knit a sweater for yourself or a friend. I advise against knitting a space heater….
3. Sweaters are cordless, sustainable and can go anywhere. Space heaters can only go where there are electrical outlets.
2. Sweaters are fashionable, sensible, cultured and sexy. Space heaters are basically a toaster being attacked by a hair dryer.
And the number one reason by a sweater is better than a space heater…..
1. Sweaters are permitted! Space heaters… No, sorry.